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Judah Mannowdog/Quotes
These are the quotes said by Judah Mannowdog [[Season 3|'Season Three']] Start Spreading The News Judah: I put everything bill-related in one folder. ''Princess Carolyn: Great'' Judah: Gas bill, cable bill, and the new headshots for Billy Zane. ''Princess Carolyn: Thank you, Judah.'' Judah: You also wanted me to remind you to call Mr.Peanutbutter. ''Princess Carolyn: Yeah. Ping me again in two minutes? No, five minutes. Uh, when's our call with BoJack and Spanakopita?'' Judah: The one that started seven minutes ago? It started seven minutes ago. ''Princess Carolyn: What?'' Judah: Diane's in your office right now, stalling.. poorly. ---- ''J.D. Salinger: Goodbye. Hello to you, Rasputin. Give my regards to the czar.'' Judah: I will relay the message. ''Princess Carolyn: Oh, I don't know why I thought I could do this. I'm drowning, and cats hate drowning.'' Judah: if i may, I believe I can take on more responsibility around here. On a provisional basis, of course. ''Princess Carolyn: Okay.'' Judah: But we're a small agency and we need to think like one. Instead of spreading ourselves thinner, we should be focusing on better gigs for the clients we already have. ''Princess Carolyn: Oh. Like Jerry Maguire.'' Judah: Yes. What part of Jerry Maguire? ''Princess Carolyn: The part where Tom Cruise's agent got him a massive payday for being in Jerry Maguire.'' ---- ---- Love And/Or Marriage Judah: I settled on a company dental plan. It's called, "The tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth." Seemed comprehensive. ''Princess Carolyn: Not "tooth" shabby, Judah. (LAUGHING)'' Judah: Yes. I also wanted to talk to you, if this is a good time, and it is, because you have exactly nine minutes before your meeting on Captain Hooker 2: Yo Ho Ho Ho and A Bottle Of Booty. ''Princess Carolyn: Yeah, what's up?'' Judah: As you know, I've taken on duties beyond the scope of my original contract. I think I've proven my worth. ''Princess Carolyn: Are you asking for a raise?'' Judah: A more elegant solution might involve an ownership position in the company. I thought I'd ask for 15 percent stake, you'd counter with five, and we'd settle on ten. ''Princess Carolyn: Well, then, it's settled.'' Judah: I'll draw up the paperwork. Speaking of paper, Piper Perabo and Pauley Perrette need to push back the pitch on the Princess and the Pauper project. You have a night off tonight. ''Princess Carolyn: A night off? When's the last time that happened?'' Judah: It hasn't. Can I help you with anything else? ''Princess Carolyn: Yeah, you can. Get me a date for tonight. Actually, make that three dates. Who knows when I'll get another night off?'' Judah: I do. And you won't. ''Princess Carolyn: (SIGHS)'' ---- Judah: Princess Carolyn, I made reservations for you tonight at Elefante. ''Princess Carolyn: Reservations?'' Judah: For your dates. You've.. One at seven, one at 8:30, and one at ten. ''Princess Carolyn: You actually got me three dates? I was joking.'' Judah: I'm sorry. I sometimes have trouble reading tone. One time I spent 45 minutes at a fascinating lecture at the Apollo Theater before I realized it was a comedy routine. ''Princess Carolyn: I can't go on three dates. Can we reschedule two of them?'' Judah: It's going to be a long time before you get another night off. Especially since you have those lawyers coming next week to change the light bulbs. (Pause) Okay, I just realized now that was also a joke. ---- ''Princess Carolyn: Oh. Why were you working in the dark?'' Judah: Oh, I guess it got dark. I didn't notice. How were your dates? ''Princess Carolyn: (SIGHS) Pointless.'' Judah: Yes, most dates are. Well, I've prepared our agreement. Look it over, and sign it at your leisure. ''Princess Carolyn: I don't have any leisure.'' Judah: While you're signing, I have a stack of holiday cards for the staff. I took the liberty of writing little personal messages to everyone on your behalf. ''Princess Carolyn: Thank you.'' Judah: Mm-hmm. ---- ---- Old Acquaintance BoJack: Hey man, loved you in The Caveman's Valentine. Judah: Hmm? BoJack: Nothing? The Caveman's Valentine ? Samuel L. Jackson had that big beard? Look it up. When you start laughing, call me. Judah: Will do. ---- Judah: So you're talking about a merger? ''Charley Witherspoon: Since my dad croaked I've been running Vigor myself, and I've been doing a pretty good job, A-minus/B-plus. But I could use a few more experienced hands to help guide the ship, because being a boss is really hard.'' Judah: Yes. Princess Carolyn can be a proud woman. I'm glad you came to me first. ''Charley: I would have gone to her directly, but sometimes she yells at me and I do not like being yelled at and that is just something that people need to understand about me.'' Judah: I'll talk to her, when the time is right. ---- ''Laura: (phone) Well, you didn't hear it from me, but I pulled some strings and you're in.'' ''Princess Carolyn: I always knew you were a superstar. Let's get drinks in the new year and work out the deets. That's a fast way of saying details for people who don't have time for every detail of the word details.'' Judah: Vanessa Gekko on line two. ''Princess Carolyn: Great, put that raggedy-ass bitch on. I'm gonna bat her around like a ball of foil.'' Judah: I know you're excited, but we are still in a very precarious position, and I wonder if foil-ball-batting is the best tack here. ''Princess Carolyn: Judah, this is where I live.'' Watch and learn. ---- Judah: Oh, good, you're still here. I wanted to get a head start on the 2016 budget. ''Princess Carolyn: Oh'' Judah: It's going to be a challenge, but assuming BoJack books Pegasus ''Princess Carolyn: BoJack didn't book Pegasus.'' Judah: Oh, So he's doing the jellybean movie? ''Princess Carolyn: No, That fell apart, too.'' Judah: Well then.. We're gonna have to cut some costs. Our social media division is.. strikes me as a luxury we can no longer afford. But if things don't perk up the first quarter, we might be looking at broader layoffs. ''Princess Carolyn: Jesus Judah! Do you ever read a room?'' Judah: I'm sorry, is this a bad time? ''Princess Carolyn: Is midnight on New Year's a bad time? I don't know. Why don't you run that through your robot analysis protocol, and get back to me once you've assessed the data?'' Judah: I am not a robot. I am a human being. ''Princess Carolyn: You want to make some cuts? Why don't you cut that stupid beard? Everyone who walks in here thinks this place is run by a homeless person.'' Judah: I apologize if my appearance or demeanor is unprofessional. ''Princess Carolyn: No, you're perfect. Everybody's perfect except for me. Just go home, Judah.'' Judah: Would you like me to shave the beard or? ''Princess Carolyn: Just go home, Judah.'' Judah: Happy New Year, Princess Carolyn. ---- ---- It's You Judah: Losing BoJack was a blow. There's no way to sugarcoat it, even if I were generally good at sugarcoating things, which I'm not. ''Princess Carolyn: You know, I wish cats really did have nine lives. It would make me feel better about how much I'm screwing up this one.'' Judah: You're not screwing up your life. ''Princess Carolyn: Sometimes I feel like, if I could start everything over, knowing what I know now, I'd do it all right this time. But other times I think.. No, I wouldn't.'' ---- Judah: As a partner in the company, I am prepared to forgo my salary for the next three months, but even then, we're going to need some sort of miracle. ''Princess Carolyn: What are we doing? What was the point of any of this? I wasted everyone's time for six months. Soon, I'll get some offer from one of the big five agencies that I can't say no to, and I'll go back to being another cog in the giant Play- Doh spaghetti maker that is this industry. Is that the best I can hope for?'' Judah: Not necessarily. Although, there is one thing I should probably mention. ''Princess Carolyn: What is it, Judah?'' Judah: Maybe this is an opportunity to live one of your other eight lives. ''Princess Carolyn: Yeah, maybe. It's been a pleasure working with you, Judah.'' Judah: I found it to be an above average experience. Please forgive me for getting emotional. ---- ---- That Went Well ''Princess Carolyn: sighs'' Judah: Welcome back. Your first meeting's at 10:00, and you have a lunch at 11:30. ''Princess Carolyn: Thank you, Judah.'' Judah: Also, I have someone on line two trying to get in touch with BoJack Horseman. I have no idea how she got this number. It sounds like it's a teenage girl. ''Princess Carolyn: Tell her I don't work for BoJack.'' Judah: Mm-hmm. I'm sorry. We can't help you. ---- ---- [[Season 4|'Season Four']] See Mr. Peanutbutter Run ''Mr.Peanutbutter: Judah! Can I get your John Wilkes Hancock?'' Judah: Oh, I never developed a signature. I find them unnecessarily ostentatious. But I can print my name legibly. ''Katrina: Thank you, Rain Man-bun. That'll do nicely.'' Judah: Okay. ''Princess Carolyn: GROANING'' Judah: Ralph dropped this off for you. ''Princess Carolyn: "I always make a beeline to see my feline." Aww!'' Judah: Also, you wanted me to remind you about FX's American Dead Girl miniseries. ''Princess Carolyn: Oh, that's right! What train wreck are we rubbernecking at this year?'' Judah: They're doing the Sarah Lynn story and they're looking for someone to play BoJack. ''Princess Carolyn: Oh! COUGHING '' Judah: Well, as I was saying, FX is looking for a BoJack Horseman ''Princess Carolyn: CLEARING THROAT Ugh!'' Judah: Horseman Ho ''Princess Carolyn: RETCHING MOANING'' Judah: So, as we discussed earlier, is this one of the moments where you would want privacy? ---- Stupid Piece of Sh*t Judah: I have terrible news. It's Meryl Streep. ''Rutabaga: Did Meryl Streep die?'' Judah: No, she's retiring. ''Rutabaga: Mr.McGregor!'' ''Princess Carolyn: You cannot just walk into a room and say, "I have terrible news about Meryl Streep."'' Judah: Her retirement party is scheduled for this Saturday. All of Hollywoo will be attending. ---- ''Princess Carolyn: Ah!'' Judah: If you'd like to never see him again, I have ways of getting rid of him. ''Princess Carolyn: What kind of ways?'' Judah: Asking him politely to not come back. Actually, that's only one way. I apologize for misleading you about the number of ways. ''Princess Carolyn: He's a jerk, right? It's not just me?'' Judah: I worked with guys like him at F.M.E. When I left, I swore I would never work at a big agency again, because I can't work with people like that. ''Princess Carolyn: You don't think I'm like that?'' Judah: No, because you care about people other than yourself. And for what it's worth, you will be a wonderful mother. ''Princess Carolyn: You're not just saying that?'' Judah: I never just say anything. I choose words very carefully, with an eye towards precision and expediency. I'm surprised you haven't noticed that. ''Princess Carolyn: Good night, Judah.'' Judah: Mm-hmm. ---- ---- Ruthie (episode) ''Princess Carolyn: You look tired, "Veronica."'' ''Vanessa Gekko: Oh, I..'' Judah: Amazing burn, Princess Carolyn. ---- Judah: Sorry you got fired. Here's a latte. ''Princess Carolyn: Oh, uh -'' Judah: It's decaf, ma'am. ''Princess Carolyn: Thanks, Judah. You know, one year ago, a setback like this would have really spun me out. But I don't need Courtney. Every time we fall, we get back up stronger and better than ever. Can I get a hallelujah?'' Judah: Is that a sort of pressed juice? I'll have one hallelujah on your desk by 12:45. ''Princess Carolyn: Great. What's next?'' Judah: I noticed your necklace was broken, so I pushed back your {doctor's} appointment, and found a reputable jeweler nearby. ''Princess Carolyn: Don't know what I'd do without you, my hairy number two! Oh, God, I'm sorry. That came out horribly.'' Judah: Not to speak above my station, but perhaps it would behoove us to entice BoJack Horseman back into our stable. ''Princess Carolyn: Ugh!'' Judah: I'm sorry, ma'am. "Stable" and "behoove" were poor word choices. I was not trying to engage in punnery during business hours, but we've received 15 more inquiries about BoJack just this morning, and I don't think it's wise to look a.. gift opportunity in the mouth. ''Princess Carolyn: BoJack is off the table. We're a small management company. We just need to focus on the clients we have.'' Judah: You know best. ---- Judah: First quarter, second quarter. Wow, that's a lot of quarters. Oh, excuse me. Hello. ''Princess Carolyn: Judah, you'll never guess who I just ran into.'' Judah: No, I won't. Very astute, ma'am. ''Princess Carolyn: It was Charley Witherspoon!'' Judah: Mm-hmm. ---- ''Princess Carolyn: How does that make you feel?'' Judah: That very short story makes me feel nothing. but I don't think it's your fault as a storyteller. I often have trouble engaging with narratives. ---- Judah: Oh, I didn't realize you were still here. Do you need anything else before I go? ''Princess Carolyn: No. Thank you.'' Judah: Should you be drinking that? ''Princess Carolyn: You don't always know what's best for me, Judah.'' Judah: Is everything okay, Princess Carolyn? ''Princess Carolyn: Charley Witherspoon made you an offer to buy VIM, and you went over my head and turned him down without telling me.'' Judah: Oh. ''Princess Carolyn: So it's true. You lied to me.'' Judah: Yes. ''Princess Carolyn: Because you didn't want to work at a big agency.'' Judah: er ''Princess Carolyn: You don't fit in with other people.'' Judah: I ''Princess Carolyn: You're weird, so you'd rather stay here where you have all the power.'' Judah: No, Princess Carolyn ''Princess Carolyn: So you lied to me, and you made me look like an idiot!'' Judah: I was trying to protect you. I knew if you heard an offer, you'd feel like you had to say yes. ''Princess Carolyn: I don't need you to protect me.'' Judah: But if you had time, you could decide what to do next on your own terms, which you did. ''Princess Carolyn: Well, that's not your decision to make.'' Judah: Princess Carolyn, I understand you're upset. And perhaps your emotions ''Princess Carolyn: No. If I can't trust you, then I can't work with you. You're fired.'' Judah: SIGHS Thank you for my time here, Princess Carolyn. It's been very pleasurable. Until now. This part is.. Sad. Don't forget, you have reservations at 8:00. ---- ---- ''Princess Carolyn: Thank you, Judah.'' Judah: Good night. ---- Category:Quotes Category:Quotes Said by Characters